Bedtime Confessions

Oh, this is priceless. Bedtime is one of my favorite times. Well, for many reasons. First of all, it's my personal sigh of relief for the day. Fun and relaxing things come after it: hot baths in which I read more than one or two paragraphs at a time--that is, until I fall asleep. . . , back rubs from my husband, sitting on the couch and talking or belly-laughing at something hilarious Ryan has said, getting a phone call from a friend, basically what it boils down to is adult time and/or alone time. I feel a little guilty saying that, but I'm just wiped out at the end of the day.

Another thing I love about bedtime is how cute my kids are about it (for the most part). Don't worry, there's plenty of tears and emotional meltowns too on occasion, but as I said, for the most part, they are soooo cute at night-time. Take tonite for example: I was snuggling with Annie. I had just finished singing "the Rainbow Connection" for the billionth time in the last 4 year or so--don't think she could have cared less as an infant. This is funny because any time I start singing during the day, in the car, or what have you, she says to me, "mom, please be quiet." Rude! I know I'd get chucked out of any American Idol audition, but that doesn't mean I want to hear about it. I'm smart enough to stay far away from any solo, performance, concert, etcetera, but I don't need the reminder that I'm awful, for heck's sake! Anyway, I think it is funny that she won't hear a note during the day, but oh, at night time, it's a REQUIREMENT for sleep. Anyway, I digress. . .

So I had just finished singing and we were snuggling and I said, "I love snuggling with you, Annie. I'm going to be so sad when you are a big girl and you don't want to snuggle with me anymore." She patted my head, smoothing my hair most tenderly and responded VERY excitedly (with eyes big as saucers and nods of the head): "Mom, when I grow up and I'm a big girl, then I can use your lives!!!!!!!!!" Now, for those of you who don't know, "lives" is Annie for "knives." Yes Annie. When you are a big girl, you can use my knives. That's exactly where the discussion was headed. thanks.

Then came the confession.

Annie: Mom, when I was a little girl, I used your knives once. What's that thing you use in your left hand to go like this? (followed by a charade-like demonstration of knive-sharpening).

Me: The knife sharpener?

Annie: Yes. I used that.

silence.

Me (to myself): My daughter is saying "damn it" (see previous post) and playing with knives. nice. What is next?!?!?!?!?!

Annie: We don't play with knives, huh. . .?

Me: No, we don't.

Annie: (Cupping my face this time) Mom, I'm so sorry I scared you. I won't ever scare you again.

Me: Thanks, Annie.

Yes, bed-time is great. Great for big hugs and monster, snake, and bad dream concerns. Great for prayers that entertain even the most agnostic of souls. (My favorite was when the first few lines of the sacrament prayer--FROM MEMORY, I must add--were uttered as her bed-time prayer). And, yes, great for confession.

WHAT did you say??????

First of all, Happy New Year everyone! We had a GREAT Christmas, and I'll post more about that later. And I apologize for the lack of posts last month. But I found Facebook, need I say more? But first, I'd like to say a little something about my morning. I'm PSYCHED! My four year old flawless, princess, angel daughter Annie just said "dammit." Yes, you heard me correctly: dammit.

I suppose it could be worse. I've never professed to have the cleanest language in the world (and, friends and family with children my kids' age, I completely understand if we're banned now), and I suppose there are worse things she could have said. But I've tried super duper hard to not say naughty things in her presence. I can think of one time, A LONG TIME AGO, when I hurt myself and said "dammit." Followed by "dang it, darn it, dog gone it, shoot, egads, gobble-dee goop, dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it!" because my logic was this: if I yell out 10 acceptable I-just-stubbed-my-toe words, perhaps that would decrease the chances that the one she'd repeat would be the naughtier of the bunch. Well, you can see now that it was a nice try, but naughty words are just more fun, apparently. sheeesh!

So, I explained that it was a naughty naughty word. (What will I do if it gets worse?) She said "sorry" and thus the morning continued without incident.

But I've fastened the proverbial seat belt and I'm hanging on tight for more. You see, this is not the first time she has said something that has horrified me (and I'd like to reiterate that I understand she could have said worse--but she's FOUR for crying out loud, and she was a tiny innocent baby like three minutes ago!).

Some examples: There was the time in Wal-mart when she asked the overweight lady behind us if she had a baby in her tummy. This was right after Aunt Kelli announced the baby in HER tummy, so I cut her some slack because it was obviously on her mind. But I don't know that the lady (whose response was, "no, I'm just fat") cut her the same slack. And then there was the time she tapped me on the arm in the grocery store and said, (loudly) "MOM!!! LOOK AT THAT BIG LADY OVER THERE!!!!!" . . . sigh.


I know other parents and children have gone through this. I remember a time myself when my parents invited someone over for dinner and the guest complimented my mom on her au gratin potatoes. Anxious and thrilled to offer advice and let her know how easy it would be to acheive the same results, I blurted out "Oh, it's SO easy! It's just a BOX MIX!!!!!" My parents were a little embarrassed perhaps.

Anyway, if any of you have advice or a funny story about those horrifying child speech moments, go ahead and leave a comment about it. I look forward to reading. . . . .